"So happy my Billy has got A* in physics exam", "oh Tarquin has just passed the 11+ we are so proud!" "Little Amy top of the class again". These are my very favourite posts on facebook. As if I do not feel like a failure already with a pissed off 15 year old teenager, them some yummy mummy posts how well her little off spring is doing and I feel totally and utterly crap.
Oh god, I have just spent the last hour yelling at my daughter to come have a look at the computer so she can find her homework task, let alone do it. I bet little Tarquin has found it, done it, made mum a cup of tea and is practising his violin as we speak.
I am sooooo pissed off, I have never ever, ... EVER been able to post anything that remotely boasts of my daughter's achievements. Tomorrow I am going to have the "you are to write on lined paper and put your notes in a folder" argument as at the moment, any notes are scrawled on a bit of printer paper left on the desk and then ripped up when she gets cross.
Believe you me, I have tried the nasty mum, the understanding mum, the loving mum, the "I will do your bloody homework for you" mum. Soon to come "you are grounded again" mum and finally I will resort to the not speaking to her at all mum.
One day she will give me something to boast about that I may choose to, (if I want to rub people up the wrong way) put on facebook - until then dear Moanlog I resort to reading of others achievements which without fail compound my own daughters complete lack of success at anything. I will read of them, but I won't like them, in fact if there was an unlike button I would press that.