Latest 20 moans submitted
Nigella's steeley face of determination as she walks into court - that's me that is. I have that picture on my fridge to remind me that no matter how much crap comes my way, never ever let my guard down and be out of control. I will never reveal my inner thoughts to people who know me. That would make me weak and vulnerable.
I don't understand why people around me need to gossip, and to ask someone else "what they think" about every minute aspect of their lives. What do they expect to achieve? Surely the person to make the best decisions in someone's life is the person who knows the most about the person, ie the person themselves. My opinion - stop fucking gossiping about crap, get off your fat bone idle backsides and do something. Talk is cheap.
Why do people talk such mundane crap nowadays? I mean really? I have kept a list today, I have been spoken to about the dog shitting in the garden, Joey Essex leaving the jungle, how clean the office is, how we are having pork for dinner and how the potatoes will be peeled after Emmerdale. FFS - it has got to be linked to a persons IQ.
I tried today to start a conversation about the Germans treatment of the Jews, what came back .... Joey Essex says WW1 ended in 1979. No one in my house knows that there is a BBC4 let alone watch it.
Soaps, xfactor, strictly = food for the brain dead
Shut the fuck up and do the work yourself I can't fucking stand it when you're like this, sometimes things are you fault and not just mine
"So happy my Billy has got A* in physics exam", "oh Tarquin has just passed the 11+ we are so proud!" "Little Amy top of the class again". These are my very favourite posts on facebook. As if I do not feel like a failure already with a pissed off 15 year old teenager, them some yummy mummy posts how well her little off spring is doing and I feel totally and utterly crap.
Oh god, I have just spent the last hour yelling at my daughter to come have a look at the computer so she can find her homework task, let alone do it. I bet little Tarquin has found it, done it, made mum a cup of tea and is practising his violin as we speak.
I am sooooo pissed off, I have never ever, ... EVER been able to post anything that remotely boasts of my daughter's achievements. Tomorrow I am going to have the "you are to write on lined paper and put your notes in a folder" argument as at the moment, any notes are scrawled on a bit of printer paper left on the desk and then ripped up when she gets cross.
Believe you me, I have tried the nasty mum, the understanding mum, the loving mum, the "I will do your bloody homework for you" mum. Soon to come "you are grounded again" mum and finally I will resort to the not speaking to her at all mum.
One day she will give me something to boast about that I may choose to, (if I want to rub people up the wrong way) put on facebook - until then dear Moanlog I resort to reading of others achievements which without fail compound my own daughters complete lack of success at anything. I will read of them, but I won't like them, in fact if there was an unlike button I would press that.
Fuck going to work today
I think I might be bisexual. Didn't see that one coming.
I haven't done anything wrong. I've hardly seen you today. You're pissing me off. Stop acting like a child.
you're 32 years old. why the fuck can't you clean up after yourself?
Stop banging on about how less you eat you fat pig. You ate that tray of food all by yourself in one go!!!
Stop liking your own status and photos; you're lane dumbass
Toxic people - they gossip, bully, steal and still are able to walk the earth not understanding the hurt and chaos they inflict. How is this? - how can they not understand or do they just not care?
I just don't get it - there has got to be some pay back coming from somewhere. I would love to see what this would be, surly they have it coming.
If and when their time comes I will bring the popcorn
I have a dream, a dream for tonight where Satan and his accomplices of evil call their leader home from the midst of the raging inferno. She, entranced will step forward, trip due to the obscene height of her boots and fall into the fire. But the fire won’t finish her off, oh no , as she is from hells backside. No what will do her in is a helpful neighbour stepping in with a glass of water or maybe me with a hose. She will be drenched and then just like in the wizard of oz, she will melt into a pool of slime.
Everyone will be very surprised that she actually wasn’t a human being but a witch from hell but they will soon go back to eating burgers. I in the meantime would not want anyone to slip in the green oozing slime and so will put sawdust down. Just like they did at school. People could also use it as a handy ashtray. Then when a convenient time arises, she will be swept into a black rubbish sack that has also been used to empty the litter tray and disposed of. Forever a mix of slime and cat piss.
I don’t think it will come true, I think she will come back from the nights festivities, complain about the food, people, fireworks etc etc and then return to her coffin, only to rise in the morning to continue her rampage of evil. I can only cross my fingers!
So the evil witch mother in law from hell is going to a bonfire party tonight. She has just left looking like a pus filled geriatric Suzie Quatro. Dressed head to foot in black to match her soul, I have been asked if she “looks alright”. I said I liked her boots. I do like her boots because they look uncomfortably high and she may have a bonfire related accident when she drinks too much of her tramp juice. So yes, I like her boots very much.
I think she may have dressed to pull some unfortunate to suck the life from. To think of her whispering sweet nothings makes me want to vomit. The “romance of the century” could lead to her trapping the poor bloke into a night of passion. Ewwwwww god help him. Still in the cold light of day with the beer goggles removed and her lying like the living dead next to him – it shouldn’t last long. (cont)
Yep, the quilt is fucked..... but she "doesn't know how that happened".
I have a horrible feeling that one of her gnomes is going to meet it's maker tonight.
Go to hell, you alcoholic, plague ridden, crappy washer woman from hell!
Alcoholism - "it's a disease". Bollox! I have met a few over the years and I can say they are self centred pieces of shit that make everyone's life truly hell. You can tell a family who has an alcoholic in their midst, they are too scared to say anything and walk on broken glass so as not to upset the poor misfortunate.
I have an answer, instead of forgiving and helping, why not send them to their own private island where tramp juice is available on tap. They can drink themselves into oblivion and wake up in their own piss. Moreover without a family member to make sure they are ok, they may not wake up at all and do us all a favour.
Alcoholics - you know the ones, the vacant stares, the swearing, the shouting, the punching - those people. Bastards
I can't believe it as I sit here now, a handmade quilt I made over 4 months while I was pregnant with my daughter is going around in the washer on a 60 wash. Yes, oh yes, my rancid alcoholic mother in law who I have the misfortune of living with me shoved it in the wash along with her pants.
Don't get me wrong this is not an unfortunate accident, oh no this is a deliberate thing because she is a cruel, selfish manipulative old hag and delights in being as nasty as she can, especially to me.
I need to turn the other cheek, keep my enemy close etc etc to keep my sanity but it feels good to let it out.
i'm going to fuck your girlfriends. i'm going to enjoy it, but don't worry, you'll get the last laugh.
whilst everyone thinks the world of you, those closer to you know that the sun does not shine out of your backside. in fact, they know all that you have done you skanky hoe.
My neighbor works night shift. At about 11pm the other night, I heard a car arrive next door. I was sitting out back when a couple came outside. I could hear whispers, giggles, and panting, until the sound of a breathless, passionate, lustful moan escaped my neighbor's wife's lips. Then they scrambled into the house. I don't know if it was anther man with my friend's wife, maybe role play, maybe their teenage daughter and her friend. Would you say something to your neighbor? If it had happened at your home while you were working nightshifts, would you want you neighbor to say something to you?